Kids say the darndest things. And my kids are abnormally AWESOME.

 

The sun is setting. Dark times are upon us.

Brandon (holding a wizard staff and gazing into the sunset)

Brandon: It's you guys, isn't it? The Easter Bunny isn't real, is he?

Daddy: OF COURSE HE'S NOT! HAHAHAHAHA.

Jackson: Mommy? How do you write "Jackie"? I wrote "Jack", how do you make it "Jackie"?

Mommy: I E

Brandon: Y!

Mommy: It could be, but I say it's I E.

Brandon: Well I say it's Y!

Mommy: I named him and I say it's I E!

Brandon: Fine, whatever.

Jackson: “Can I bring Orange Superfrog to bed?”
Mommy: “Of course.”
Brandon: “It’s just a piece of paper.”
Jackson; “NO. It’s a piece of LOVE.”

Jackson: “Can I bring Orange Superfrog to bed?”
Mommy: “Of course.”
Brandon: “It’s just a piece of paper.”
Jackson; “NO. It’s a piece of LOVE.”

Would you eat the moon if it was made out of spareribs?

Brandon, quoting Will Ferrell

Mommy: Why were you supposed to wear blue today?

Brandon: Awareness Month.

Mommy: Awareness of what?

Brandon: ((shrugs)) I don't know.

Mommy, I only want one thing for Christmas: for all my dreams to come true.

Jackson

The slaves ran away and went underground and got on the subway.

Jackson

Brandon: I feel bad for [name redecated].

Mommy: Why?

Brandon: He got his tongue stuck in an air conditioner!

Mommy: ...how?

Brandon: I don't know.

Mommy: Why...why would he have his tongue close enough to an air conditioner for it to get sucked in and stuck in the first place?

Brandon: I don't know. It happened three times.

Mommy:

Brandon: He had to have stitches!

Reading Aloud from Magic Treehouse

What Brandon Read: "Did you see a tiger?" Jack asked.

What I Heard: Did you see a tiger, jackass?